McCarran International Airport.
It's the one place in Las Vegas that you don't like to see twice. That's because your second visit to the airport most likely means it's time to return home after an exhilarating and memorable Las Vegas experience.
And while the flight home is an opportunity to reflect on the pure, uninhibited fun you've just had in the Entertainment Capital of the World, it's also a time that many travelers want to be alone, either to sleep, or maybe even just to pass the time thinking about their next Vegas adventure.
Regardless of how you spend that flight home, you'll want to do it in comfort, and solitude. Here are some tips to find a little extra room and alone time.
1. Paint your nails.
No one likes the smell of nail polish, including people who paint their nails on a regular basis. It's the anti-cologne. So break open a bottle and take advantage of this special "fragrance"! Bring some extra colors and toothpicks so you can take your time in making the designs. Men, don’t worry, there are clear coats that you won’t even tell are on once it dries, minus the shiny top coat your nail now supports. If you have a layover, paint your nails on the first trip and remove the nail polish during the second leg. The shiny nails will be gone, and you’ll have had no one next to you for two plane rides!
2. Pretend to be sick.
You know the small paper bag in the pocket in front of your knees meant for actual sick people? Grab it right away and hold it close to your face during boarding. No one wants to be next to a person that gets sick, let alone start their flight off with someone who is already “sick.”
3. Turn up the tunes.
Keep your music on loud even when you board the plane. Blasting your music will make you appear to be rude, and no one wants to sit next to a person with no consideration for other passengers. To make it better, play your favorite Britney Spears song on a recurring loop and mention you just couldn’t get over her show at Planet Hollywood (throw in that you saw it three or five times) and that you have to listen to her the entire way home so you can feel like you’re still there with her. Brownie and validity points if you lip sync, actually sing, and add in a few dance moves.
4. “My (insert important person here: friend, wife, brother, etc.) is sitting here.”
People feel bad if they want to take a seat of someone you love. They’ll move right along, especially if it’s your significant other that you just tied the knot with (or not) during your Las Vegas trip.
5. Read something – gasp – questionable, saucy, or slightly controversial.
50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James is the type of book that comes to come to mind. Simpler titles that get the point across may include any of the For Dummies series books like Meditation for Dummies (try getting into yoga poses by using the seat next to you), or Claustrophobia by Andrea Perry (hint hint).
6. Strike up a conversation with the person a seat away from you.
Loudly. Tell them every detail about a show you saw while you were here, like Blue Man Group at Luxor. Do your best to imitate all the sights and sounds, too. Unless you have the worst luck and an actual chatterbox spots you, most people want to be ignored on a flight so they can sleep, read, or listen to their music.
7. Take off your shoes.
This won’t have the full effect if you’re wearing flip flops. So go ahead and throw on those hiking boots you wore all day at Red Rock Canyon the day before, with the same socks if you’re feeling risqué. People are instantly bothered at the sight of others not wearing their shoes in a public place that they’ll be just offended enough to pass you by, especially if you have your toes already dangling over the other seat while you read a questionable book mentioned earlier.
8. “Break up” with your significant other.
If you don’t have one, have your best friend play the part. All you have to do is sound like you’re fighting over the phone while you board the plane. If you’re a good actor, feel free to cry. Think of the movie Hachi: A Dog’s Tale if you need to kick-start the tears.
9. Eat some spicy food.
McCarran International Airport has no shortage of tasty food joints. Find a place to order a few burritos, really hot chicken wings, or curry. Eat them as soon as you get on the plane, or if you’re feeling risky eat them while you board. If people can smell the spice, it will deter them from sitting next to you unless they want their sinuses melted off anymore than when just passing you by. If you don’t like spice, find something else that with an overwhelming aroma to repel passengers.
10. Stare at the passengers.
The possibilities are endless. You can look angry, like when you were 7 and your sister ripped your favorite one-of-a-kind rookie card in half. No one wants to be the next person to accidentally push you over the edge. You can awkwardly stare into space, or stare at a passenger so they’ll feel as awkward as you look and pass you by. If all else fails, break out the Orange is the New Black Crazy Eyes stare. That intensity will keep everyone looking for a distant seat.